Soul Friends
February 16, 2010
The following passage from John O’Donohue’s book, Anam Ċara, made me think fondly of ConneXions and Band of Brothers and all the wonderful small groups that have sprouted up in our church over the last three years. These are places of belonging, of knowing and being known…
“In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam ċara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and ċara is the word for friend. … In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam ċara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam ċara you could share your innermost self, your mind, and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. … In everyone’s life there is great need for an anam ċara, a soul friend, in this love you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. Where you are understood, you are at home.”
If you’ve joined any of the small groups associated with ConneXions, you probably know what it means to be at home. From personal experience, I can tell you the most powerful aspect of Band of Brothers is that we intentionally dismantle the poser in each of us, the pretentious part of us that stands in the way of friendship and intimacy, so we can have real dialogs, instead of so many monologues.
Again, O’Donohue speaks to this in his recent interview with Krista Tippett, Speaking of Faith public radio broadcast:
“When is the last time that you had a great conversation, a conversation which wasn’t just two intersecting monologues, which is what passes for conversation a lot in this culture. But when had you last a great conversation, in which you over heard yourself saying things that you never knew you knew. That you heard yourself receiving from somebody words that absolutely found places within you that you thought you had lost…a conversation that continued to sing in your mind for weeks afterwards, you know?”
If this isn’t what the body of Christ is for, then I don’t know what I’m doing in it. Life is difficult. And doubly difficult alone. Keeping the faith is, in my opinion, keeping the friendship, the conversation, the intimacy alive. Fostering it. Without that, what do we have but arid stoicism?
Listen to your heart. And to the hearts of others. Insist on beauty. Insist on true friendship in Christ. Insist on intimacy. It’s worth the trouble. It’s worth the risk of exposure. We were made for it.
They will know we are Christians by our love.
If you enjoyed this post, be sure to read the rest from this author. Marc is a local writer, musician, and physician. He is a regular contributor to ConneXions and has written reviews for Spectrum: Adventist Forum. He loves words and music, windsurfing, and going on adventures with Janine and the kids.(Read more from this author) 
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You really made me yearn for meaningful conversation. Treasure the authenticity you have in your small groups, it is exceedingly valuable.